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Feb 16, 2011 10:08 AMPublication: The Southampton Press

Eyeing Broader Demographic, Southampton Village Funeral Home Adds Funeral Directors

Feb 16, 2011 10:08 AM

When one makes a living in the funeral industry, it might seem forgivable to have a funereal outlook.

But the funeral industry is one that could never be considered a “dying” industry, and one Southampton Village funeral home continues to look on the sunny side—toward growth and expansion.

In recent years, O’Connell Funeral Home, on Little Plains Road, has seen more customers hail from outside the village. It also has been asked to do more funerals in communities such as Bridgehampton, Hampton Bays and Riverhead, according to Ken Rothwell, the funeral home’s owner for the past nine years. (He is quick to point out that funeral director Jack O’Connell is still involved. Mr. O’Connell took over the business from his father, Joseph O’Connell, who founded the funeral home in 1929, before selling to Mr. Rothwell a decade ago.)

The funeral home also entertains hopes of expanding to other nearby locales.

As part of this vision, the business is looking toward its two newest funeral directors—the aunt-niece team of Kari Gainey and Stephanie Seay-Smith—to help the business branch out to a broader demographic.

In fact, Mr. Rothwell said he believes the two women are the only full-time female licensed funeral directors in Southampton and East Hampton towns who run the full gamut of duties of a funeral director.

Mr. Rothwell noted that some grieving family members, particularly women, feel more comfortable working with female funeral directors. “As great as I have tried, some women just like the comfort of another woman,” Mr. Rothwell laughed.

The trailblazers, both black, occupy an even smaller circle of being minority females in a profession that is traditionally not. Ms. Gainey added that she does not believe there are any other black female funeral directors on Long Island. They are now part of a team of funeral directors at O’Connell that numbers five.

Since they started in January, the women, both of Riverhead, have been busy acquainting themselves with local ministers and delving into the duties required of always being on call. They do not need to be reminded that people could call, wishing to make funeral arrangements for their loved ones, at any time of day or night, holidays and weekends included.

Those duties encompass everything from answering that so-called “first call,” to providing a solid display of support for grieving families when they are at their most vulnerable. They must also rely on their extensive training in matters relating to anatomy, pathology and embalming, among others.

Mr. Rothwell glowed with enthusiasm for his newest funeral directors: “We have wanted to expand, and it’s important to us that now with them joining us, we have the ability to do that, while making sure that each and every family gets the utmost perfect care.”

Dressed elegantly in black, their hair short and stylish, Ms. Gainey and Ms. Seay-Smith spoke recently of their passions for their new chosen profession.

“I’ve always liked helping people, and this is one of the toughest times to deal with a family, period,” said Ms. Seay-Smith. “Through my own experience, I know that people need someone who’s really there for them and really understands, or is at least empathetic, toward what their needs are, genuinely.”

The women have another goal too: “We want to encourage other women to go into this non-traditional field, to go for their dreams,” said Ms. Gainey, who did her residency in Jamaica, Queens. Before earning her mortuary science degree from Nassau County Community College in 2009, Ms. Gainey worked as a nursing assistant. She said she was inspired to transition into the funeral industry by her niece. Now, at 45 years old, Ms. Gainey is starting on her second career.

Ms. Seay-Smith, 29, earned her mortuary science degree from the same college in 2006, before doing her residency in Medford. She is continuing her education by working toward a bachelor’s degree in funeral home management via online courses run by Mount Ida College in Massachusetts.

The pair grew up in the funeral industry, in a sense. Ms. Gainey’s father, the late Albert E. Seay, who died in 1991, started the Seay Memorial Chapel funeral home in Riverhead, which is now run by her brother, Carlton Seay. So their coming to O’Connell represents a following in the family footsteps.

“We just want to get out there and let the community know that we are here to meet their needs and be more active in the community,” Ms. Gainey said. She added that certain “progressive” practices at O’Connell, including cremation, were a draw for her and her niece.

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Cremation is hardly "green".

Cremation is a tremendous waste of energy and is a source of air pollution (including heavy metal toxins).

Traditional embalming and burial slowly leaches numerous nasty chemicals into the groundwater. Nothing prevents decomposition, and there is nothing "dignified" about being embalmed. It's done for convienience and to extend the time the deceased can be viewed.

A truly green funeral would involve no more than topical disinfection, and ...more
By RealityFirst (597), Bridgehampton on Feb 17, 11 11:19 AM
So no embalming for you?
By pstevens (406), Wilmington on Feb 17, 11 8:04 PM
Nope. Straight into the ground and plant a tree over me.

I'm not suggesting that embalming or cremation be banned, but morbid curiosity lead me to really look into this, and no, embalming is not for me.

The American Way of Death is an excellent book on the subject.
By RealityFirst (597), Bridgehampton on Feb 17, 11 9:10 PM
This comment has been removed because it is a duplicate, off-topic or contains inappropriate content.
By highhatsize (4217), East Quogue on Feb 17, 11 9:30 PM
One more time:

There is an alternative to burial and cremation called resomation wherein the body is dissolved. It produces almost no greenhouse gasses.

Maybe the editor objected to my link. Google resomation.
By highhatsize (4217), East Quogue on Feb 18, 11 10:58 AM
I googled it. Not sure what to think, but it will give us another choice about what tot to with Uncle Fred.
Jun 15, 12 1:01 PM appended by **HBQueenBee**
What to do with Uncle Fred
By **HBQueenBee** (46), Hampton Bays on Feb 18, 11 1:01 PM
What to do with Uncle Fred. Hate when my fingers slip.
By **HBQueenBee** (46), Hampton Bays on Feb 18, 11 1:02 PM
I remember years ago making "pre-need" funeral arrangements for my parents. They didn't care about the details but they expected to be treated with respect and I assured that.

In talking to the funeral director, I found out that most pre-need contracts were taken out by the elderly themselves. This stunned me. Why, I asked, would someone care about what happened to them after they were dead to the extent of dotting all the "'i's" and crossing the "'t's" themselves. His response, in ...more
By highhatsize (4217), East Quogue on Feb 19, 11 12:42 PM
Resomation sounds like a good alternative to me, however,while resomation is gaining popularity in Europe it is currently only approved in six U.S. states - Maine, Colorado, Florida, Minnesota, Oregon and Maryland....not in New York.
By Latenighter (9), Southampton on Feb 22, 11 10:44 PM